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Submitted on
February 18, 2013
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So I'm currently inflicted with some sort of civilization-levelling strain of super aids. I had to stay home on a monday.
Oh the agony (lolwin).

Anyhow; I always have something to discuss on these journals otherwise I wouldn't bother writing them. So, in this journal I am going to attempt to write a parody of sorts- the most clichéd poem in the history of sub-standard poetry.

THIS IS HOW I SEE 99.9% OF POETRY:

i feel upset and shit so
yeah fuck everyone in
my life sucks I want
to kill myself and drink
all the shit under the sink
i cut and bleed everywhere
i dont even use band-aids
#yolo
i fell in love with a girl
she was as beautiful as
gorgeous as FLOWERS
AND OTHER FLOWERY DRIBBLE
(INSERT A WHOLE BUNCH OF
ALLUSIONS TO NATURE THAT
MAKE ME WANT TO EAT MY OWN
TOENAILS FOR CEREAL)
basically she rejected me
(i dont even no y)
so I wrote this poem because
my coping mechanisms are replaced
by writing substandard poems
and im going to end myself
just letting you know
gonna do it
anytime now
i swear ill do it
dont even know how 2 make toast
but ill fucking cut myself with it
you better listen
im a crazy poet with a
pen and no poetical skill
im being completely serious
despite my lack of punctuation
and/or knowledge of poetry
but its all about expression you know

=============================================================================================

And there we have it. If that didn't make you lose hope in humanity, I don't know what would.

Anyone else feel this way about the absolute rape of what it means to be a poet? I feel deep anguish for it.

Our generation has fountains of bad poetry pouring from every orifice. It's a shame.
  • Mood: Egghead
  • Listening to: MAINSTREAM MUSIC IM SO COOL
  • Reading: LOLFAGSREAD
  • Watching: EVERYTVSHOWEVER
  • Playing: THAT GAME THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FISH
  • Eating: yolo
  • Drinking: hashtag
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:iconstealthyninja21:
stealthyninja21 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student General Artist
Your poem just made my day. I was laughing so much XD
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:icondemosthenes-h:
Demosthenes-H Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student Writer
<3
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:iconastrangeallure:
astrangeallure Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, ouch! I'm far from being a teen but I just started writing poetry about 2 months ago....I've never really read poetry and would have probably sneered at anyone who suggested that I write a poem or even pick up a book of poetry. I might fall into your 99%!!!!!!! I should probably swallow my toenails with some Cap'n Crunch laced with daisies, but not before I write a tetractys on my love for toasted suicide! :D
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:icondemosthenes-h:
Demosthenes-H Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student Writer
Nooo! </3 but your poetry isn't like that, it's filled with such lovely imagery and doesn't make me want to eat my toenails!!

You are a natural... Damn you. But also, much love <3

I do suggest reading poetry though ;D sometimes there is a yearning in ourselves that only poetry can satisfy. Plus you look cultured as fuck. 'puts on cool glasses' and here we go again.
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:iconastrangeallure:
astrangeallure Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you kindly, Sir Gent.

Hmm, that is debatable!! :D

Do you think it's because I haven't read pretty much any poetry that it's easier for me to write it?....something to ponder...I wonder if when I do begin to read the greats whether it will make me hesitate? Like a person who wants to write a novel so they go out and buy all of these how to write a novel books (been there and did it!!!) and then can't write for 10 years...autobiographical data. I suspect that you think I'm cultured as fuck because I am quite a few years older than what I assume you to be. :D
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:icondemosthenes-h:
Demosthenes-H Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Student Writer
Well yes, I am 16 so you're most likely somewhat older (I'm not trying to call you old or anything ;) )

Well, I do find that interesting, considering that when I originally began writing I had a lot more scope in what I would write about; now I try to refine things.

You tried to write a novel? Oh lawdy. The reason I write poetry is because I currently don't have the patience nor skill to maintain long pieces of writing.
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:iconastrangeallure:
astrangeallure Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, goodness, I could be your mother! :lol:

Oh, the novel thing never got beyond two pages! :D I wrote a few pieces of flash fiction and then nothing for 10 years...:D I'm not sure that I will ever make an actual attempt at a novel...well, if someone paid me to.

And I will let you know if the poetic greats-poetry writing correlation actually exists...:D
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:icondemosthenes-h:
Demosthenes-H Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Student Writer
YOU COULD BE MY... OH LAWD.

You should attempt it, so at least you can say you tried, no? :D
Reply
:iconastrangeallure:
astrangeallure Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed.


Well, I thought I would stick with poetry for awhile...then one day wake up and just start writing a screenplay...(stuff happens...like getting paid for it with rights to cast and maybe some production rights...more stuff)...and I win an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay...my acceptance speech is heralded as the funniest shit "they've" heard since ever...I put my Oscar in front of my computer to remind myself that I did it once I can do it again despite feeling like I might have been a one hit wonder...sigh...whew. :D :D
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:icondemosthenes-h:
Demosthenes-H Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Student Writer
You should turn that fantasy into a screenplay, it sounds well thought out hahah. ;D

Naww, well I hope that 'one day' comes to you; because people get too caught up waiting for their dreams rather than chasing them. They're a lot like buses.

<3
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